Published: 08/06/2026
There are many things buyers say they're looking for in a property.- Location
- Condition
- Natural light
- Schooling
- Garden (privacy, aspect and maintenance)
- etc etc etc
After years in the industry, I've come to believe that every viewing contains an unofficial sporting event. Some competitors are casual amateurs. Others are clearly training for selection to Team GB.
Event 1: The Cupboard Inspection
The viewing begins normally.
Then, without warning, every cupboard in the property must be opened.
Kitchen cupboards. Bedroom cupboards. Utility cupboards. The cupboard even the owner hasn't opened for 12 months.
Buyers peer inside with the concentration of archaeologists examining a newly discovered tomb.
Occasionally they find cleaning products.
Occasionally they find a suitcase.
Once, a viewer opened an understairs cupboard and looked genuinely disappointed not to find Harry Potter.
Event 2: The Light Switch Sprint
This discipline involves turning every light on and off in rapid succession (even if the agent has already turned every light on).
It doesn't matter that it's 2pm in the afternoon or that the room is already brightly lit with natural light.
The switches must be tested.
…all of them.
…repeatedly.
By the end of some viewings, every bulb in the house has undergone a full performance review.
Event 3: The Boiler Hunt
No viewing is complete without the traditional question:
"Where's the boiler?"
The boiler could be in plain sight, glowing gently in the kitchen.
It could be the size of a small car.
It could have "BOILER" written on it in large letters.
Viewers will still ask the question!
Event 4: The Furniture Measurement Relay
This is where things become truly ambitious.
Buyers begin measuring walls for furniture they don't yet own.
"Do you think that sofa would fit here?"
Nobody knows.
You haven't bought it yet!
Event 5: The Tap Pressure Challenge
A surprisingly technical event.
The kitchen tap is turned on.
The buyer watches the water flow with the seriousness of a hydro engineer.
Sometimes they repeat the test in the bathroom for consistency... first the taps... then the shower.
One viewer ran all the taps simultaneously, presumably to recreate a worst-case scenario.
Event 6: The Garden Endurance Test
The garden receives a long, thoughtful inspection.
Buyers imagine summer barbecues, children playing, and peaceful evenings outdoors.
Very few imagine spending three consecutive Saturdays cutting hedges and fighting weeds (a garden is always more attractive before you own it).
Then the golden medal moment arrives... the finale... the closing ceremony... and is always the same.
The agent and seller feel the viewing went well.
But after spending 40 minutes opening every cupboard, testing taps, hunting boilers, and measuring for imaginary sofas and dining tables, the buyers gather near the front door... pause, and deliver the classic closing line:
"We really like it... but we've got a few more to see." (the property equivalent of finally finding the perfect pair of shoes, then spending another two hours walking round the shopping centre in case there's a pair you prefer).
Sometimes they buy the property the next day.
Sometimes they spend six months touring every three-bedroom semi within a twenty-mile radius before returning to the first one they saw (which, incidentally, is no longer available because we’ve sold it).
Sometimes they disappear never to be heard of again.
Final Thought
Humour aside, viewings are fascinating because they reveal something important which is buyers aren't just inspecting a building, they're trying to imagine a future life inside it.
The cupboards, the taps, the boiler, the sofa measurements… they're all part of that process.
That said, if Olympic medals were awarded for opening cupboards, some buyers would be unbeatable!